When ovarian cancer -- or any life-threatening disease-- strikes, it affects not just the patient but her spouse or significant other as well as the larger circle of family, friends, co-workers, faith community and neighbors who care about her.

If you're the primary caregiver, know that you may need some help getting through this crisis. You can find support groups and other resources at the Cancer Support Community.

If you're family member, friend or acquaintance, you want to help but may not know how.

You want to know what's going on with your friend but you don't want to burden her with too many phone calls or emails.

You feel an urge to do SOMETHING to help and to ease your own anxiety in a positive way. But what?

We have some suggestions.

• Set up a communication website. Some sites, such as CaringBridge, offer the opportunity for the patient or a designated point person (that could be you) to share news approved by the patient. In turn, her friends and family can post messages of support that she can read when she's able.
• Go one step further and set up a coordination website, such as Lotsa Helping Hands It includes calendars with tasks such as meal preparation, dog walking and laundry. Friends can sign up for specific tasks on specific days.

Whatever you do, ask before you do it. Rather than saying, "Let me know what I can do to help," suggest a task you'd like to take responsibility for. Offer to walk her dog. Or to pick up a few groceries. Or to pick up her laundry and do it each week. Or weed her garden, or cut the grass.

Invite her to take a short walk on a beautiful day, but be prepared for her to beg off if she's fatigued.

Offer to go with her to pick out a wig or get a manicure or get a facial.

Send e-mails or notes or greeting cards, but make sure she knows she doesn't need to respond. Share news from your life or the community that has nothing to do with ovarian cancer. Do NOT share stories of other people's difficult experiences with cancer.

Drop off a vase of flowers from your garden, or a loaf of fresh bread. Don't bring a full-blown meal without asking; she may already have a full refrigerator.

KNOW THE SYMPTOMS. LISTEN TO YOUR BODY. TAKE ACTION.